Friday, August 14, 2026

Trauma [part 3]

Simulated,
the blood was not real.
But all I could see were
those blue eyes.
I knew who they belonged to,
as I looked across the scene.
The beautiful eyes in a
bowl of ice with care.
In quiet whispers his
voice spoke to me.
The words weren't spoken in a
way I could understand.
And like the ice wanted to
make use of those blue eyes,
the strings behind the eyes grew.
And engulfed the bowl entirely

Zap!

Colleague behind me poked my back.
She had a smile, asked what I saw.
I looked back, and there was the
simulated scene,
but there was no bowl with those
blue eyes. And no eyes with the string
of veins that grew.
She waited eagerly for an answer,
but it was here I could no longer
be here anymore. 

Friday, July 3, 2026

Salt and Tar

On my temples I felt the hands touch my skin, and ran their fingers through my hair. The vast loneliness filled with ocean water, but their presence brought in sunlight. There was still salt on my wounds and it stung, but the warm caress was there. I was damaged and broken, but had someone to fall back on. They were the anchor and I was the lost boat, drifting. Timeless as everything felt, I described things by days. And so day by day, some days longer, I saw them.

Longer, some days they stayed longer. I could still see them outside of this Beach, but the feeling was not the same. I could not feel their skin the same way with my metallic frame. When I gently ran my hands on the sides of their neck and their chest, I could feel a pulse. A heart was beating soundly when I lay down next to them.

Whatever countless days it was, as I sat on the sandy grounds, the only thing enveloping me was the ocean water. There was nothing to worry about, I was sure. But the gut feeling, I still knew the 'time', it was always the same. They always responded to this feeling of pull I felt within myself. It was always when my soul started to long for them. But whatever countless hours passed on the Beach, there was no presence. The pulling sensation on my chest grew stronger, they would be here by now. Abandoned maybe, no they would never.

And so I went out there and looked for them. The chiral rain was pouring, across the grasslands of where I was were Beach Things groaning. They were all slowly floating towards something that I could not see and tell. I held my composure, and followed. Like all the dead people did, walking through their Beach, and into the ocean. Something felt off, and whatever I felt on this plane, I felt it on the Beach. The hairs on my skin rose, and hives started to riddle across my skin. When the BTs all stopped, and instead had formed a circle, I continued my steps. Walking through some of them, I could not see anything looking straight ahead.

Reaching the center of the 'circle' there were bones on the ground. Time seemed to have passed a lot since these bones where there, but there should have been a large crater here. No voidout? I ran my fingers along the bones, finally gripping the skull. I felt a presence, a familiar one. But it was hollow and cold, there was nothing there. With the empty husk of a skull, I clasped it with both hands. I looked around, the BTs stood there in a crowd, continued to stand in a circular formation. I sprung myself back, and my attention returned to the Beach, still holding the skull. The hives were intense along my arms and my shoulders, and it continued to rise along my neck and even the sides of my face.

The waves on this Beach suddenly grew still. Looking straight ahead, I saw them. But I felt the same hollow and cold presence, the same sensation I felt when I first touched the bones on the ground. I could not move, standing where I was, slowly coming to a realization. And yet I still held the skull between my hands dearly. While I looked ahead, and saw them reaching out to me. But it wasn't long till they slowly erupted into black tar. And the oceans turned into a thick substance, all black. 

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Kyiv in my Heart

People I never knew, coming together.
The laughs, smiles,
I now hear the ghosts of their voices.
But the efforts continue, I see new faces.
And each time, they were like family.
United together, to continue and persist,
to never fall down.
We may hear the voices of those once here,
but along with the living, their voices
fuel our hearts. Keeping us strong.
Another day lived through smoke,
but it will never burn out the resilience.

Monday, February 2, 2026

Terrorist

I am met with those evil eyes,
staring at me like I was the crime, I stood my ground.
As the scared child behind me cries,
and the crowd around me, without a sound.

Is helping a human have stable food a crime,
is it such a scary thing to see someone with a smile?
Am I now the antagonist for standing around at nighttime?
Did you really think the dancing frogs were so vile?

'Food not Bombs', feed the hungry for free,
oh no not anymore, that is deemed an offense.
They go door to door like on a killing spree,
tearing apart families for only a few cents.

The world burns by your hand,
but you label me an arsonist.

Helpless sometimes, as I remembered
the last time I breathed in the toxic smoke.
There the crowd was, they never left.
No matter how hard you threw back,

they threw back twice as hard.
With the tears of broken families,
with the memories of murdered children,
forever in everyone's hearts.

Never to be forgotten


Sunday, February 1, 2026

Trauma [part 2]

Push and pull,
wired in our brains,
the strive for connection.
But there's an alarm,
a warning, warning of a past.
And so the connection never comes.
pull
pull
pull
Then letting it jump off of a cliff,
and off to his little cave he goes.
Never to venture out.
His soul, he grips it with force,
'honey let it go, you're going to kill it'
But he puts it further into his rib cage.
run
run
run
Off he goes like a scared little boy,
though his eyes animal-like.
Teeth could have been sharp,
his hands only knew how to break precious things.
The rage he couldn't control, the pain he let flow,
But at night he would
cry
cry
cry
For all the wrong doings, and for
the things he never done.
And all he could ever done,
forever in this cycle.
Blinded, but those eyes could see.
And yet with those seeing eyes,
never met with the hands that would caress.
Always the ones that would make him bleed.
He continued to hold a tight grip
onto his soul.
Till there was nothing, as it faded,
and he was no more.

Nothing but a husk, that was once him.


Thursday, January 29, 2026

Trauma [part 1]

Lost lost lost
I could not breathe
I held out my hand
but no one saw
walk walk walk

Lies
Lies
Lies

Like venom on the tongue
forcing me to swallow.
Like the wrenched claws
drawing on my skin.
Like the false words
forced upon my mouth.

Scream
Scream
Scream

But no one!
No one looked no one saw.
No one batted an eye.
I said I said I said
till I forgot who I was

Please
Please
Please

Just let me live.
I am nothing but a shell.
There is no one in this shell,
but flesh and blood.
What more did you want?
Did you like it when you drew on my skin?

Run
Run
Run

I had nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
You were long gone and locked up
But the scars still bleed without blood.
Forever altered and written on.
This art you left me with

I had to pay the price of my soul.